I hate change, partly because every time my life changed it seemed to make things worse for me and better for D. The last couple of weeks I have been living way out of my comfort zone with many changes and a roller coaster of feeling. As the days passed, I jotted down these short notes.
Wednesday the 12th: Phone call, the divorce is finalized. Judge went over everything. Papers will be mailed. ~Feeling strangely unsettled.
Thursday the 13th: Boss informs me of a new work policy. If someone calls in sick, as the supervisor, if I can’t find someone to cover the shift I can’t call agency anymore I am to cover the shift. Also they are cutting the crew and changing the shift rotation. ~Feeling frustrated.
Friday the 14th: Received divorce papers Judge gave D. 40% of the bills I got the other 60% because he doesn’t work full-time, seriously! He got the house and his boat. I got the van. Really! Did the judge read everything? I didn’t share at D.V. group. ~Feeling cheated.
Saturday the 15th: Packing while D. hovered over me questioning everything I packed. ~Feeling frustrated
Sunday the 16th: Someone called in, so I am working the shift so I can’t go to church. ~Feeling agitated
Monday the 17th: Met the new E.D. He has great plans. ~Feeling hopeful.
Later today: D. Informs our kids in front of me that everyone has to buy their own food for now on. Without missing a beat DJ asked his dad if that included him. ~Feeling humored.
Tuesday the 18th: The E.D., the nurse, and I have a meeting. I like him she doesn’t, Oh wonderful. ~Feeling nervous.
Later today: screaming, banging, and cursing when I run downstairs to see what’s going on D. yelled at me that my dog at your piece of pie. My dog is shaking and scared. ~Feeling pissed
Wednesday the 19th: Training a new girl 5 minutes in she quits because she is told to stop talking and to pay attention. Later I found out I have to do two 16 hour shifts (3pm to 7am) on Thursday and Friday. My sweet Karla offers to cover 4 hours of Thursday for me. ~Feeling thankful and frustrated at the same time.
Thursday the 20th: nurse text me “We need to talk”, so we scheduled a meeting for tomorrow. ~Feeling anxious.
Later today: D. seems ready for us to leave. D. asked when I was moving out because he found someone to rent our daughters room. ~Feeling confused and happy at same time.
Friday the 21st: When the nurse met with me she complained about the E.D. goes on and on about how it’s his way or the highway. Complains how she has to catch up her charting. (I told her that 6 months ago) She is mad because he likes me. ~Feeling confused.
Saturday the 22nd: only slept 2 hours before the dogs woke me to go outside. The sun was up so I am up too. ~Feeling tired
Sunday the 23rd: I have to cover another shift. No church again. ~Feeling like I need to get my resume ready.
Teri again 
Lordy! What a week, girlfriend! Breathe. Take a few minutes a couple times a day. Four counts in, four counts out. I have pvcs and it sure makes me feel better… Hope you have a better week. Hugs.
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What a real rollercoaster of emotions! I agree with Calensariel, I hope the following weeks are better with positive things coming your way.
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You are getting cheated! My unemployed ex-husband had to be responsible for 50% of the bills. He also had to move out so we could sell the house! I got 50% from sale. I didn’t have kids this last divorce but my college daughter lived in my one bedroom apt while on breaks and summers.
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I am not worried about the house there isn’t much equity in it, but the bills upset me. They could have covered the equity by giving him more of the bills. I’ve decided I am not going to worry anymore about it. He has sucked all the life out of me that he is going to get.
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I am glad you are dealing with it the best you can. Just was sympathizing and trying to comfort you. 🙂
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It’s nice to have somebody who agrees with what I think. It justifies my feelings. thank you very much
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Teri, good for you for divorcing him. It gets easier the longer you are apart. It sounds like you’re hit with a lot of stress at the same time, at work! I hope you get an easier workload soon – and that you’re able to go to church.
(( Love + Hugs! ))
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I really hope easier times will come…roller coaster of feelings indeed but you did manage to deal with all of them so a bit of appreciation for this! Really hope you’ll have a better week!
Kitty
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Thank you.
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YES! I agree with everyone above. Thank God you could get away from this man. now you can save your own money into your own bank account and never have someone stealing your independence from you again. Crappy week – never mind – at least you are in charge of your own life now. c
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You have your hands full! I know the feeling of change, it has been happening to me and sneaking on me for two months, best of luck.
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No wonder you’re tired! And frustrated! And then hopeful! And every other emotion! You are being put thru the ringer! I agree that judge was making decisions completely biased against you!
I hope you are able to go to church now.
Not able to call in a sub?? Wow, that’s really harsh.
I’m glad your divorce is final, so you can start rebuilding now.
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Thank you.
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You’re welcome.
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Teri, I have nominated you for a Blogger Recognition Award!
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